As you may have seen in a post from a few weeks back, I'm currently on a course of Roacctutane. In a nutshell it's a drug which helps to clear up acne by reducing your oil glands. I've written a little more detail about the tablets and why I decided to go on the drug in my first Roacctuane post here.
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First and foremost, happy new year! I hope you all had a lovely Christmas and New Year, I can't quite believe it's all over, how fast did that last month go?
I had a lovely festive break, and I feel so much better for having a good few days away from my laptop and thinking about work. I had a very productive break as I watched all of the Harry Potter films, The Gilmore Girls Year In The Life Revival, Love, Rosie and 13 Going On 30 over the course of the Christmas week. Yes I pretty much have square eyes now! But sometimes you need a few days on the sofa with films!
Anyways, I do love the start of a new year. Something feels so fresh about it, and I always liken it to starting a new notepad. I always try to have a list of goals/resolutions, and I usually find that writing them down in a post, makes me more likely to stick to them!
So here are my 2018 blogging goals and resolutions, please let me know what yours are if you have any, as I'd love to know!
My 2018 Blogging Goals
(though these totally include YouTube and Instagram as well- but thought that 'My 2018 Blogging, YouTube and Instagram goals was a bit of a mouthful)
Stick To A Schedule : For the past couple of years, I've been a bit lapse when it comes to a schedule for my blog and YouTube channel. I seemed to get into my head a little while ago that schedules don't matter, but what I've come to realise is, that I work better when I'm organised and have a deadline as such. I'm going to aim to post three times a week on my blog, once a week on YouTube and then every day on Instagram. I don't want to set anything in stone, but I know I just need to get my arse into gear and I'll be able to do this no problem. Do you find you work better with a schedule when it comes to your blog or do you prefer to just blog when you feel like it?
Work On My Photography : It's funny as it's only been the past couple of years that I've enjoyed taking photos for my blog. For the five years previously, I used to loathe taking pictures, I used to always feel disheartened that I couldn't take as good photos as other bloggers, or my editing wasn't as good. I could never master the flatlay and I used to just get so annoyed. But then in late 2015, I realised that you can teach yourself anything, and over the past couple of years, I've tried really hard to better my photography. I now love taking photos and doing things such as arranging flatlays, however there's always room to improve, so I want to continue learning about photography in 2018.
2018 Rebrand... Maybe... : I looked back on my 2017 goals and this was on there, but then I did genuinely think that 2017 would be the year I finally re branded my blog. But it was one of those things that just never happened cause I couldn't decide what to do and then I didn't want to rush it all. As I've spoke about before, the name Dizzybrunette3 doesn't really resonate with me anymore, even though I will be sad to say goodbye to the blog name I've had for seven years! I think I may do this later on in the year, once I'm married as my name is changing and that gives me a good few months to plan! I think over the next couple of months, I might change my blog to Wordpress as a start and then go from there. Has anyone else moved from Blogger to Wordpress?
Enjoy Making Videos Again : To be quite honest, I've not enjoyed making videos for a while now. It's probably a little like the whole photography thing (feeling like I couldn't do it very well) and then with it so hard to get views on YouTube these days, I used to just feel disheartened that it would take so long to make a video and it would just flop. I do like YouTube, and I do like making videos (sometimes) and I do want to get back into it. I had an idea over the Christmas break about maybe working with a video editor which I know is kind of cheating, but I thought this might help with my YouTube productivity as it's the editing I struggle with. So if anyone knows of anyone, let me know. Other than that, I want to try and stick to a once a week upload, I've got a few videos to edit so I'll try get them up soon, but I do want to enjoy it again, and I think I need to stop focusing on the numbers and what everyone else is doing and just do what I enjoy.
Work With Some Of My Dream Brands : I was very fortunate in 2017 to work with some amazing brands, and I'm not usually the kind of person who makes a list of things like, brands that I want to work with, and I don't really like asking for stuff if that makes sense, so I've usually just waited to see what comes my way. However, I have decided to make a list of goals and no matter how far off they may seem to me, I'm going to write them down and see what happens. I have made a list of brands who are my dream brands to work with, and I think it's good to have goals. Some times, I'll sit on social media and feel a little jealous that another blogger is working with a brand that I love, but then I realise it's cause their posts are amazing and they're so hard working, and I need to step my gear up!
Stop The Full Time Blogger Guilt: Okay that may be a weird one, but ever since i went full time with my blog in 2014, I have had full time blogger guilt. If I had a pound for every time someone had said to me, or I'd read that 'blogging isn't a proper job' or 'I don't work hard' then I probably wouldn't have to work for a year, but I've decided I'm fed up of this. The way I see it, yes I don't work shifts and I'm incredibly lucky to do this job (I've had shitty jobs in the past and trust me, I know how lucky I am) but I do work hard, and I'm going to stop letting myself feel bad when I'm not doing 2736 posts a week, or when I feel like I need a break. I'm done with the guilt, and I'm going to manage my time better so I'm getting more posts out but also giving myself time off.
My 2018 Resolutions
Be More Positive : Although I'm a lot more positive than I was a few years ago, it's still something I'm working on. I can sometimes be a negative Nancy and I do sometimes get stressed/annoyed about stuff that I should let go over my head. I've spent a very long time basically thinking the world owes me something, but it doesn't. I've been reading a pretty interesting book over Christmas, it's called The Secret and it's definitely changed my mindset about the way you think about things. So 2018 will be the year of being more positive!
Save More Money : I'm pretty terrible with saving money, and with my wedding being this year, my money saving needs to be a bit better! I saw the other day how much money I spent in the run up to Christmas and it made me feel a bit sick really (crazy how much you spend on stuff for one day right?) I want to stop making pointless purchases like an online clothes order here and there and then I don't actually really like the clothes/or the quality is bad. I also want to spend my money more wisely as I don't want to say 'I'm not going to spend money like ever' as that's a bit unrealistic. Whether it's something for my blog; like a new lens, or moving my blog to wordpress, I'm going to be about making wiser purchases but also stopping the frivolous spending.
Eat Less Meat : I have been debating for a while whether to turn vegetarian/vegan as I kept seeing things about the meat and dairy industry which really upset me. I'm taking part in Veganary, so I'm going to see how I go. It's a pretty big challenge for me, because I do eat quite a lot of meat and it's in all of our meals so it will be interesting to see how I get on. I don't eat much dairy (just cheese) so that doesn't scare me as much! But it's good to have a challenge, and if anyone has any vegan blog/recipes recommendations, let me know!
Be Better With My Time Management : I mentioned this above, but I do need be better with my time management. I'm very good at procrastinating, and giving time to stuff when I could do something more productive. I definitely think I could get more done and be more productive if I was better with my time, so here's to getting up earlier, less procrastinating (and refreshing Instagram) and getting a bit more done with my time.
I don't think any of these are too un realistic, but I think they're a good set of goals to have for the year.
What are your goals/resolutions for 2018?
Happy Christmas!!! (From me and my grumpy Frank!)
I can't believe today is Christmas Day, I have no idea where the time has gone, I'm genuinely a bit perplexed!
It's Christmas Eve!!! I can't ruddy believe it. This month has gone so fast, that I almost feel like Bernard and his watch have been around playing and paused time on the 1st of December, then pressed go again and it's now the 24th. Okay that made absolutely no sense, but hopefully you get what I mean.
What I'm trying to say is: where has this month gone?
I don't even know if I feel Christmassy you know, how bad is that? I feel a bit bad, because I never actually did much in December. Our festive weekend got cancelled due to snow, I've not visited a Christmas market, and I feel like my Christmas spirit has been a bit non existent this year which makes me feel a bit sad. Maybe I'm getting old, or maybe I'm just putting too much pressure on myself to feel all festive? Who knows.
Anyways, I'm waffling on as per usual. So today is the second to last day of blogmas, and I was thinking 'hmm what should I do for today's post?' I was going to do a standard post about what I look forward to over Christmas, or some kind of Christmas Eve memory post, but I thought you know what, let's do something else and I thought that I'd do a post all about my favourite bloggers and Instagrammers in 2017.
I'm not sure if I'll end up blogging over the Christmas break, I'm of course incredibly fortunate to be able to take a break over Christmas, and I'm thinking I may hide my laptop and have a few days away from being online. So I thought that I'd do a bit of a round up now of my fave bloggers, I also thought if you can't share the love on Christmas Eve then when can you?
Bloggers :
I still love reading blogs, and writing posts is still one of my favourite things to do. Here are some of my favourite bloggers from the year who's posts I never miss.
Sophie's Make Up: I think I've mentioned Sophie before, but I want to mention her again, as her blog is one of my faves. I love her photogprahy, and her flat lays are actual flatlay goals. She also seems so sweet too!
Apartment Number 4 : I love Victoria's blog for home decor inspo, her weekly newsletter is always a weekly highlight too! Her post on the book The Secret recently, really inspired me, and I bought the book to read over Christmas. It's been a long time since a blog post really inspired me, and I always love seeing her new posts.
WearDaisyWent : OMG Daisy's blog has the dreamiest of blog photography. I swoon over every single post!
Mariannan: I've been reading Marianna's blog for years, and it remains one of my faves. I love her short personal posts, and this is something I want to do more of in 2018. I think I'll always read and love Marianna's blog, I think I've been following her for about 7 years now!
Lust Living : I'm going to warn you now, that reading Olivia's blog will give you total house envy. Her interior taste is amazing and I would happily pay for her to come decorate my house. She's also started YouTube too recently which made me so happy!
The Little Plum: Chloe's blog has really gone from strength to strength this year, and that's cause her blog is so different to many others out there ATM. She's made me feel inspired to start writing real posts again, I feel like I've got lost in a sea of Pinterest and trying to be brand friendly, whilst Chloe nails it. She does personal but is also still brand friendly, I think I want to be more like Chloe in 2018. One of her latest posts on YouTube had me nodding my head along for the most part, and when a blog makes you do that, you know it's a good un!
The Skinny Confidential : Lauyrn's blog is everything I want from a blog, it's real, no bullshit, but also still really aesthetically pleasing. I love Lauryn and her podcasts and I never miss a post from her. The only thing is, I want everything she recommends so not great for my bank balance!
Instagrammers :
What She Did : I met Beth this year at a blogging event in Essex, where we realised we lived 10 mins away from each other! Crazy! I've gotten to know Beth over the year, and I'm always so inspired by her work ethic. She is one of the most creative and hardworking bloggers I know, and she does everything from her phone. I genuinely think she's some kind of superhero. Her make up looks are insane, and you must go follow her.
WeAreTwinset: I want you to say hello to my fashion idols of 2017. Sarah and Philippa are absolutely gorgeous and so stylish. They nail that simple but stylish look, and wear a lot of high street which I love! I usually find myself scrolling through their feed when I need outfit inspo!
Jess C Hamilton : Jess is one of the biggest babes around and her Instagram is full of the most amazing pictures. She is like something from Pinterest and she has the most creative ideas for photos. I literally save every single photo of hers!
YouTubers :
Hello October : Suzie has been one of my faves for many years, and this year that has continued. I rarely miss one of her videos, and I love her whole vibe. I've also been loving her more lifestyle/home content that she's been doing this year!
Lydia Elise Millen: You'll probably all know Lydia and follow her already, but she has been one of my faves this year. I love her vlogs, and her wedding content has been really interesting (and also made me want to actually get into wedding planning mode!) I can't wait to see more vlogs about her wedding as it looked beautiful!
Fashion Slave : I love Sophie's videos and her Instagram too, she wears the most amazing outfits, has the most heart eye worthy hair and her hauls make me want to spend!
I could probably go on all day, but these are the girls who have inspired me this year with their posts, videos and photos. I would love to know who your fave bloggers have been this year?
I will pop up a quick Christmas post tomorrow, so keep your eyes peeled for that, but I hope you all have a lovely Christmas Eve!
So for today’s post, I thought I’d share my essentials for three different Christmas occasions which you can do from the comfort of your own home. And yes, one involves your pyjamas and Netflix. You are welcome.
Robinsons recently challenged me to try their new Fruit Creations range to see how I got on and if I missed alcohol.
Spoiler alert: I didn’t.
Robinsons have released two new ranges recently; Fruit Creations and Fruit Cordials, which are a twist on normal squash. They’re a more grown up squash, designed for adults rather than children, and have a whole new range of flavours for an adult palette which were created by flavour experts. There are flavours such as Crisp Apple and Elderflower, Luscious Strawberry and Kiwi and Exotic Pineapple, Mango & Passion Fruit.
Using real fruit, no artificial colours, flavourings, and no added sugar, Robinsons can be enjoyed guilt free!
So, with my drinks sorted for any Christmas occasions I’m going to over the next week, I thought I’d also share my other essentials for any Christmas do’s you may be planning.
When it comes to hosting a Christmas party my essentials are;
The most important thing is to have fun. I’m so excited for all the festivities to begin, and I know that at least by sticking to the Robinson’s Fruit Creations, I’ll be feeling fresh and energetic throughout the whole festive period.
What are your Christmas party essentials? Let me know, as I’d love to know!
This post was sponsored by Robinson’s but as always my views are 100% honest and genuine. To find out more how I work on sponsored posts, read my disclaimer here.
Robinsons have released two new ranges recently; Fruit Creations and Fruit Cordials, which are a twist on normal squash. They’re a more grown up squash, designed for adults rather than children, and have a whole new range of flavours for an adult palette which were created by flavour experts. There are flavours such as Crisp Apple and Elderflower, Luscious Strawberry and Kiwi and Exotic Pineapple, Mango & Passion Fruit.
Using real fruit, no artificial colours, flavourings, and no added sugar, Robinsons can be enjoyed guilt free!
Christmas Party
You can’t beat a good old house party, can you? I love a chilled gathering at home, and my true Monica Gellar comes out, as I do love being a hostess.
- Food: Party nibbles are the best- I do love a good buffet and will make any excuse to put on a spread!
- Drinks: I tend to fill the bar cart with an assortment of drinks, soft and alcoholic. This year, I’ll be sticking to my Robinson’s Fruit Creations (either the Crisp Apple & Elderflower for me, or Luscious Strawberry and Kiwi which I’ll be mixing up with sparkling water to add a little fizz. Also, I’ll be adding some edible glitter and stars to make things more Christmassy!)
- Decorations: I’ve bought loads of decorations this year for the house, I’ve got table confetti, banners, balloons and even drinks accessories such as gold straws and star stirrers.
- A Christmas Party Playlist: The music is what makes a good party, and I tend to stick on my Christmas playlists for everyone to get in the festive spirit with, and then I’ll throw on a good old Cheesy Classics playlist to get everyone dancing.
- Games: Okay so this may be a bit lame, but I don’t think you can beat a good game at parties. Whether it’s a traditional board game, or something a bit more risqué such as Cards Against Humanity, or something else, it’s usually a good way to break the ice and get everyone involved.
Cosy Night In:
Okay so this is my fave way to spend an evening over the Christmas period. I take my cosy nights in very seriously, so these are my essentials for a top night in.- Christmas Film: You’ve got to watch a Christmas film on your cosy night in, right? My faves are Love Actually or The Holiday- both are the perfect cosy films to snuggle down and watch!
- Pyjamas: Pop on your cosiest pyjamas, I have some fleecy ones which make me feel like I’m wearing a cloud.
- Blankets: You also need a good blanket to snuggle up with.
- Snacks: I take snacking very seriously: my top picks? Popcorn, cookies, doughnuts, crisps and mini muffins.
- Drinks: I’ll tend to start with a glass of Fruit Creations then halfway through the film, will go make a hot chocolate topped with cream, and marshmallows. You could even add hot water to the Fruit Creations such as the Pear, Blackcurrant and Cherry one to make an almost mulled wine drink but without the wine obviously.
Christmas Meal with Friends
For the past few years, we’ve cooked Christmas Dinner and we’ll be doing the same this year too! We've been practicing with a few different meals this year, and have our essentials all ready to go for the big day!- Lists: I tend to find that writing a list of everything you’re cooking and the times that everything needs to cook, is very helpful for keeping on track!
- Foil Trays: We always buy foil trays for cooking a big meal, they’re easy to use, and you can throw them out afterwards, saving you washing up!
- Mixture of Drinks: We always try to have a mixture of soft and alcoholic drinks including the Robinsons Fruit Creations, and always try have to have some pretty glasses too. This year, we have our gold Next glasses which I’m so excited to use!
- Crackers: You can’t beat a good cracker, can you? It’s not a proper Christmas meal if you’re not wearing a party hat!
The most important thing is to have fun. I’m so excited for all the festivities to begin, and I know that at least by sticking to the Robinson’s Fruit Creations, I’ll be feeling fresh and energetic throughout the whole festive period.
What are your Christmas party essentials? Let me know, as I’d love to know!
This post was sponsored by Robinson’s but as always my views are 100% honest and genuine. To find out more how I work on sponsored posts, read my disclaimer here.
I love wrapping presents and making them look nice. But there's usually just one teeny tiny thing- I'm not very good at it.
Yeah just a minor detail.
I live for this time of year as it means several cosy afternoons and evenings in. Pass me the blanket and the remote stat!
Anyways, the perfect companion for one of these cosy days/evenings is a hot drink - obviously. Today I thought I'd share two of my favourites that I make when I'm chilling in front of a Christmas film. Here we have a hot chocolate recipe and a dairy free latte - so let's get started.
Chocolate Orange Hot Chocolate
I had a chocolate Orange hot chocolate when I was in town a couple of weeks ago and decided I wanted to re create it at home. I found it pretty easy to do, and at Christmas, Terry's Chocolate Oranges are one of your five a day, just so you know.
You Will Need :
Milk of choice (Oat Milk for me)
Terry's Chocolate Orange (either the full size or mini bites like I have)
Hot Chocolate Powder (Cadbury's is my fave)
Whipped Cream
What You Need To Do :
All you need to do is pop your milk in to a saucepan and gently heat it up.
Start to drop in pieces of Terry's Chocolate Orange into the milk and stir in as it melts.
Add a couple of teaspoons of the Hot Chocolate Powder into the milk and keep adding chocolate orange slices till you get your desired taste. You'll only need a few orange pieces, I found about 5 of the mini segments made the perfect taste!
I've seen online that some people add orange rind for a stronger taste, but that seemed a bit fancy to me.
Once it's warmed up and you have your perfect taste, pour into a mug/s
Add whipped cream to the top and decorate with whatever you fancy, maybe some mini marshmallows, or a slice of Terry's Chocolate Orange.
Drink & Enjoy!
Now we move onto my next super simple recipe. A Salted Caramel Dairy Free Latte (however you can add dairy if you fancy doing do)
You Will Need :
Milk of choice (for me it's all about Oatly's Barista Milk as it foams up really nicely)
Coffee
Monin Salted Caramel Syrup (you can get this from Supermarkets for about £2/3)
Cocoa Powder (for the topping)
Stencils (If you too feel being fancy!)
Depending on what you make your coffee with, warm and start to froth up your milk. For me, I use the milk frother on my coffee machine. But with the Oatly Barista Milk you just need to give it a good shake to get it to foam.
Get a shot of coffee ready, either using kettle, or coffee machine.
Add the milk to the coffee and stir.
Add a splash of the Salted Carmel syrup and stir.
I then use the Ginger Ray coffee stencils with some cocoa powder to add some cute latte art.
Take a pic for Instagram and enjoy!
These are literally the most basic of recipes, but I love making and drinking them so thought I'd share them with you today!
Let me know your fave hot drink for a cosy afternoon!
I decided pretty much, as soon as I found out I would be going on Roaccutane, that I knew I wanted to document my journey taking the tablets. Seeing as I'm reaching my first month mark on the drugs, I wanted to talk about why I decided to start taking them and a little insight into my skin history. Also a little FYI - I will be doing a diary post of my first month and what side effects I've had, over the next couple of weeks. This post, is about why I made the decision to go on Roacctuane and how my skin has made me feel over the years.
I often think that spots, acne, blemishes, whatever you call them, are overlooked. I sometimes feel that people think, it's okay to openly point them out on other people, or to many 'they're not a big thing and you should just get over it' - things which have frustrated me no end over the years. So that's why I want to talk openly and honestly about this journey ( I know that sounds super cringe but I couldn't think of another way to describe the next 6 months) and today I'm going to lay all my cards on the table and talk about why I'm doing this and how my skin makes me feel.
If it makes just one of you feel a bit better and a little less alone, then this post has done it's job. Quite often, I feel like I'm the only person without clear, perfect skin. Which I know is not true, but it's how I feel. I quite often feel ugly, and hate myself when I look in the mirror. I hate my skin and will think 'why is it so hard for me to have clear skin?' 'Why does nothing work.' 'Where am I going wrong? I'm 26 why do I still have spots?' I would hate for anyone else to feel like this so I do hope that by talking about this, it will help.
Okay so enough waffling, let's start at the beginning.
My Skin History
My earliest memory of dealing with spots is when I was about 12 - I think. I'm pretty sure I was in my first year of secondary school and I suddenly noticed I had an array of angry red spots erupt on my forehead. TBH these were a bit of a saving grace as they finally made my Mum let me grow out my curtain of a fringe, as I was convinced they were a result of said fringe.
The fringe in question that I had for the first 12 years of my life.
Then my memory is a bit hazy of my teenage skin, from as far as I can remember it wasn't awful but it must have been pretty bad as I remember going back and forth to the doctors to try different antibiotics and topical creams (one cream was so strong it bleached the colour from my expensive Playboy pyjamas that I'd got for Christmas- my Mum was not best pleased!).
When I was 16, I put on Dianette, a contraceptive pill which is one of the best for clearing your skin. I was on this for about a year, then I was on Yasmin for a good 2/3 years. My skin wasn't amazing but it wasn't awful. Things took a turn for the worse though in my early 20's, I soon realised that doctors in University cities don't have a huge budget, so will tend to not put you on more expensive pills such as Yasmin, instead putting you on ones such as Marvlon and Rigevidon. Which I didn't get on with at all.
This was my skin in 2013 when things started to go downhill...
My skin got progressively worse, it was more and more oily, had a lot of redness, and cystic under the skin spots were popping up every other day. Any confidence I did have, slowly disappeared from about 2011 onwards, and I'd spend hours, and hours searching skincare blogs to find products that may work. I spent a good chunk of my student loan on skincare products, but nothing worked.
Over the past year, I decided to come off the pill as 1. it wasn't helping my skin and 2. it was playing havoc with my mental health. My skin managed to get even worse and I knew I had to do something. I've spent the past 18 months, going backwards and forwards to the doctors - I've tried several topical creams, rounds of antibiotics and finally this Summer, I was referred to a dermatologist.
My skin at the start of my Roaccutane course. I feel very exposed uploading these.
In early October, I had my initial appointment where I was told, I was being offered a course of Roaccutane. I was given 6 weeks to think about it, do some research, have my blood tests done, and after passing a pregnancy test (passing probably isn't the right word here is it, but you get my drift) (( also side note- little word of advice, if you ever need to wee in a cup, do not, and I repeat do not, wear a bell sleeved top, it makes the process way more trickier than what it needs to be.)) I was given a prescription for my first months dose of Roaccutane.
So what is Roaccutane?
Well it's a pretty severe drug, it is known formally by isotretinoin. It's a Vitamin A derivative, which is a retinoid. It's used to treat acne, which has not got better from other treatments such as antibiotics. It works by reducing the amount of oil your body produces by reducing your oil glands, it also kills bacteria, reduces inflammation and slows down how fast the skin produces cells, meaning the lesser likelihood of getting blocked pores.You've probably heard about Roaccutane, you've probably heard horror stories. I know I have. It's well known for completely drying out your skin, especially your lips, and even has links to mental health problems such as depression.
However, although the side effects can be pretty nasty, the results are usually pretty impressive. Like I said, I had 6 weeks to contemplate going on the drug, and I spoke to a lot of you, and genuinely I only had 2 messages that said they hated it. Most people said it completely cleared their skin, and some even said that it was the best thing they ever did.
I knew I had to give this a try, Roaccutane is my last resort to sorting out my skin, and I don't feel like I should just put up with bad skin.
So why did I go on Roaccutane?
Obviously to clear up my skin, but there's almost more to it than that.
1. My Wedding :
So this may sound a bit of a weird one, but I felt like I wanted to get my skin cleared up before my wedding, as I was starting to really worry about it. I know my wedding is one day, but it's a big day. Most importantly, I want to spend my wedding day feeling happy and confident. When I was taking outfit photos earlier this year, I remember sitting and looking at a set and just staring at my skin. I could see all these little bumps and every pore, and I thought 'what if this is what my wedding photos look like?' 'What if I wake up on the day with one of my huge small country spots on my forehead?' I didn't even want the make up artist to see me without make up, which would be erm kind of difficult! I mean I sound like I'm freaking Beyonce. It may seem like stupid stuff to worry about, and my main concern should be getting married. Yes I get that. But if you have bad skin, you'll know how much of an affect it has on you. How much it affects your day.I've had days where I've changed plans cause I don't want to go out because of my skin. I can't exactly do that on wedding day can I?
2. For The Sake Of My Confidence :
As I mentioned above, my skin has had an huge effect on my confidence. Though over the past few months, I think as soon as I was referred to a dermatologist, I've been strangely at peace with my skin. But I think that's because I knew I was getting help. Previously, I've sat looking in the mirror, and I would feel angry at my reflection. I would feel so frustrated that my skin looked so bad, why was this happening still? Why did nothing work. I hated my skin.I never go out without make up, and I really want to be able to do this. I shouldn't care what people think, but that's easier said than done. Make up is my security blanket. I wish, I could go to the gym without concealer ( and yes I know working out with make up on is bad, but trust me, if I could do this, I would) at my lowest points, I've refused to open the door to the postman cause i had no make up on. I know how it sounds. Ridiculous. It sounds pathetic.
When the nurse took me for my pregnancy test, she kept looking me in the eye (like humans do when you have contact with them) and I was panicking. I was thinking 'stop looking at me, I can't deal with this.' I was glad to get in the toilet with my bell sleeves to do the test.
I want to be able to go out without make up on. I wish I could go to a Body Attack class with no concealer on. I wish I could have a chilled Sunday at home without putting on foundation, in case someone pops round.
I know there are people out there dealing with a lot worse. People who have worse skin than me, or worse conditions. I get it. But when you've dealt with spots for over ten years, it's chipped and chipped away at you and your confidence.
3. I've Tried Everything Else.
Roaccutane is the last resort for me. I've tried everything else; from antibiotics, topical creams, quitting dairy, drinking shit loads of water, trying different skincare products, cleansing twice, cleansing three times, using acids, taking multivitamins, I've lost count of what I've tried.None of it worked.
Some of you may think there's nothing wrong with my skin, and I actually even got some messages saying 'why are you on Roaccutane? Your skin looks fine to me?' Well that's because I don't show you my bad days, because I don't want to.
I rarely ever take a selfie, I only shoot videos on good skin days with my ring light which hides a multitude of sins, I rely on full coverage concealer and yes you'd probably never know how bad my skin was unless you saw me on a bad day or without make up. After dealing with spots for the past 10+ years, I've gotten very good at hiding it. But trust me, my dermatologist wouldn't have put me on this if my skin wasn't 'that bad'.
So that leads us to now.
My pre Roacctuane skincare haul!
I know the next six months aren't going to be easy. But hopefully they'll be worth it. Maybe by the end of this, I'll have regained some confidence, even if I'm able to leave the house without make up, that would be a huge step. Not having to sit in the mirror and wonder how I can style my hair to hide the massive craters on my forehead, or not have anyone ask me concerned if 'I've bumped my head' when no, it's just a massive spot would be great.
I get so angry, when people just dismiss spots. People are so quick to throw insults around about people's skin as if it's nothing. People describe people as 'the one with bad skin' or will say 'wow look at that spot on your head' or 'wow you're so oily all of the time' without even thinking what effect that can have on people.
Maybe I'm a sensitive Sally. Okay no scrap that, I am a sensitive Sally, but for every YouTube comment, or something someome has said to me or behind my back about my skin, I seem to not be able to forget those words. I once heard someone I know say behind my back 'at least I don't have spots' about me, and years on, it still feels like a punch to my stomach. Which sounds ridiculous, I know. But when you struggle with your skin, I don't even know how to describe it, but these words and comments have such an effect on you.
You feel everyone is looking at you. Although they're probably not. You feel like a freak. You can't look anyone in the eye. It sounds like you're super self absorbed or vain, but it's honestly not that at all. Anyone else who struggled with their skin will get this.
Having bad skin has such an effect on you mentally, but it also does physically too. I sometimes get under the skin spots that are so sore, it hurts every time I make an expression like a constant reminder it's there. Your skin can feel sore and sensitive sometimes, if you get them on your back, your bra strap can rub on one all day being a constant annoyance, I've even had spots in my ears which have made my eyes water when a headphone touched them.
If you're reading this and you've never had to deal with spots, or bad skin, then all I can ask, is that you perhaps show empathy towards people who are dealing with this. You may already do this, but I have encountered so many people who seem to think spots aren't a big deal, or have absolutely no empathy whatsoever. I mean and a lot of these people have been doctors. I call them 'the doctors who have clearly never had a spot in their life.'
Me when I see a doctor who says 'your skin isn't that bad' or someone says to me 'you know if you wore less make up, your skin wouldn't be so bad.'
Think about what you say, and yes this has got all very Sensitive Sally again, but you have no idea sometimes how your words can effect someone. I mean this goes for literally anything. But just think.
Even little comments like this can affect you.
I know, we're literally a step away from me sounding like I'm competing in a Miss World competition.
If you're reading this, and you struggle with your skin, then don't let anyone ever make you feel like your skin worries aren't justified. Whether you struggle with moderate or severe acne, it sucks no matter how bad it is. It sucks no matter what age you are, whether you're 14, 24, or 44. If you're really struggling then keep going to your doctor to get professional help. Keep fighting till they refer you to a dermatologist. Don't be put off if you see a shitty doctor, book in with another one, keep going and keep fighting.
So I will stop now. I could literally write and write about this (as you can probably tell) but this starts the mark of a new chapter and I'm weirdly excited. I know the next six months aren't probably going to be a walk in the park, and I know that all my confidence problems won't be solved by this, but I know it's going to sure as hell help.
I also apologise if I've come across a bit strange in this. I wanted to be completely 100% honest and tell you exactly how I feel and how my skin makes me feel. I want to be completely honest for the whole time I'm taking Roaccutane.
So I will now go. Thank you for reading this, I'm sorry it probably took you about six years, and I really hope that you'll find these posts interesting.
I'd love to know if you've ever been on Roaccutane as if you have any product suggestions, please send them my way.
And I apologise this isn't very Blogmas-y but I just wanted to write about this. Things will be back to normal again tomorrow :)
I saw this post on Marianna's blog, which is and has been one of my faves for years, and years. Anyways, I was reading her blog, as you do, and I was feeling a bit stuck for my next Blogmas post idea. I was going through my list of post ideas and nothing was striking me with inspiration. TBH I have no idea how my Blogmas is going, I kinda feel a little disheartened with things, well I don't know if disheartened is the right word, but I don't know, I just don't feel like anyone's reading them, and I don't know if they're boring and un-original, and I just feel a bit like I'm not sure if they're interesting.
Agh I'm waffling.
Anyways, sorry to be a Debbie downer, so anyways, you get my drift, I was feeling uninspired. Then I read this post on Marianna's blog and thought, 'what a lovely idea.' I am totally ripping it off, but full credit goes to her, and I thought it was a cute idea, and it actually made me want to blog, so I thought I'd go with it.
So here is a list of my fave things about Christmas, and I'd love to hear your top 5's too. So let's begin ...
Films
1. Elf
2. Love Actually
3. The Holiday
4. Home Alone 2
5. The Grinch
Songs
1. All I Want For Christmas : Mariah Carey
2. Last Christmas : Wham
3. Christmas Wish : Britney Spears
4. Rockin' Round The Christmas Tree : Brenda Lee
5. Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) : Michael Buble
Christmas Food
1. Pigs In Blankets
2. Stuffing
3. Roast Potatoes (not necessarily a Christmas food but you get my drift)
4. Cheese and Crackers
5. Sausage Plait
Christmas Snacks
1. Terry's Chocolate Orange
2. Matchmakers
3. Toblerone
4. Quality Street
4. Quality Street
5. Pringles (Pigs in Blanket flavour)
Fave Things To Do At Christmas
1. Cosy afternoons watching Christmas films
2. Spending time with family and giving them presents
3. Decorating the house
4. Visiting Christmas Markets
5. Christmas Shopping
Things I Look Forward To At Christmas
1. Eating Christmas Dinner
2. Giving Presents Out To My Family
3. Spending time with family
4. Having a good chill
5. The House being all decorated
Let me know your faves for all these too, as I'd love to know :)
As much as I love Christmas, I have to admit that it's not as fun as what it was when I was a child. Like don't get me wrong, it's still really fun, and I do wish it was December all year round, but you know when you were little, there was something quite exciting and magical about Christmas wasn't there? TBH as soon as I realised Santa wasn't real (I'm not even going to admit how old I was when I found this out, as it's a little embarrassing haha!) Christmas lost it's magic a little.
I’m very excited to be working with Vouchercloud and Very on this post, so keep your eyes peeled as I have some exclusive discounts at the bottom of this post for you!
So let’s begin shall we?
Trainers : You guys know that I spend a lot of time at the gym, and I was finding that my current trainers were starting to look a bit battered, and I thought something that would be really nice, would be a new pair for Christmas. I love, love, love, these pink New Balance trainers, which I’ve had my eye on for so long. Seeing as I usually wear all black outfits to the gym, I thought they would match perfectly. Although I think that they’re maybe a bit too nice to wear haha!
Sportswear: As well as new trainers, new sportswear never goes a miss with me when it comes to presents. Very have a such huge range of fashion items including sportswear with big names such as; Nike. Adidas and Puma. New leggings, vests or even hoodies are always a winner in my eyes.
Ted Baker Crossbody Bag: How gorgeous is this black and gold Ted Baker bag? I absolutely love it, and it’s for sure on my Christmas list! I have been looking for a nice black bag for ages, and I think this could be the one. It also seems a good size which means I could fit in my phone, purse, camera, the kitchen sink, etc… at ease!
Studded Boots: Okay so I have enough pairs of studded ankle boots to keep an octopus happy, but I love these flat ones from Miss KG at Very. I think you could wear them with so many outfits, and I like how they’re flat because yes, I am a grandma and don’t like spending all day in heels! I think these would look amazing with both jeans and dresses.
Olympus Pen Camera: Very have a huge range of electrical items too as well as fashion items, and I had to add this Olympus Pen camera to my wishlist. I’ve been looking to get a more compact camera recently, as my phone camera is literally like taking a photo with a potato, so I’ve been using my DSLR to take outfit photos which is a bit heavy to carry round and also makes me nervous, in case I lose it, or it gets stolen, so I think a compact camera would be really handy. I’ve heard a lot of good things about the Olympus Pen cameras, and know a lot of fashion bloggers use them so they must be good! I also love how cute the cream colour is too!
Yankee Candle: I love a good candle, and Yankee Candles are my fave. I love the scent fluffy towels as it makes the house smell really fresh and like laundry which is one of my fave scents ever. So I’d love to get a new big jar of this, to light after Christmas.
Scarves and Gloves: A bit of a more practical present, but I wanted to include a new scarf and pair of gloves on my Christmas list as you can't beat a new set can you? I’m pretty sure I’ve lost all my gloves ( I swear they’re like kirby grips, you never know where they disappear to) and I love this cute grey pair and this pink pom pom scarf, which would keep me warm but still stylish this Winter
As I mentioned at the start of this post, I’m working with Vouchercloud and Very on this post, as you know and can tell, Very have a huge fashion range, which is perfect for finding a special Christmas outfit or buying gifts for your loved ones. Vouchercloud have provided me with an exclusive discount for you, so whether you're shopping your own wishlist or buying gifts, then I have you covered.
So I’ve got a voucher for £10 off a £40 spend on your first order. Pretty good right? Use the code Dizzybrunette3 at the checkout, to get your £10 discount- woohoo.
So I will leave you now, to enjoy some shopping! Let me know what’s on your wishlist this year, and I will see you tomorrow, for my next Blogmas post!
*This post was sponsored by Vouchercloud and Very, but my opinions are 100% honest and genuine as always.
I had today's post all planned. It was supposed to be a photo diary/post about our Christmassy weekend down south. We had a lovely trip planned, visiting Bournemouth's Christmas Markets, eating Five Guys, spending about £700 on fancy hot chocolates and waffles from the Christmas Markets and finally a stop at Bicester Village on the way back for a little Christmas shopping. But then a little thing called snow had other plans for our weekend and our plans got cancelled, so today I thought that I'd still write about our weekend. Because even though, we had to stay at home, we still had a really nice time.
In fact, on Sunday night, when we were walking Frank, I turned to Henry and said ' I think this has been one of my most favourite weekends.' Which may sound a bit twee, but it really has. So I thought I'd still post about this weekend, because if you're anything like me, you love having a nose into other people's lives and love these kind of posts!
Friday :
So on Friday, we woke up to a bit of snow, enough for Frank to run round in, but not enough to cancel all plans and start causing chaos. But literally as I dropped Frank off at the kennels, this blizzard started and a 20 minute journey home, took 2 hours. It was then, I realised it was probably not safe to drive 3 hours in the snow and god knows how long it would it take! I cancelled our hotel as luckily we had a flexible rate and I was very glad to get off the roads and make it home. Henry was a few hours later, and in that time, I had a Vauxhall Adam car delivered.
The Vauxhall press office got in touch a little while ago to see if I'd like to borrow a car for the week. I thought it was a cool opportunity, so we arranged to have it for this week and we'd go on a Christmassy weekend away, so I was really gutted when we had to cancel! I'm hoping to have a little festive trip out on Thursday, so can use Adam then. But can we just take a moment to appreciate how beautiful he is? I love the mint colour, and I officially now want one of my own! It even has wifi, and this thing called OnStar which you press and it puts you through to an adviser, in case you need directions, or in an emergency. I've never really been a car girl, but I know full well that I don't want to give this one back!
Anyways, we couldn't drive it on Friday as the roads were terrible, I at one point thought my car was auditioning for Dancing on Ice. Seeing as Frank was at the kennels and it wasn't safe to go out and get him, we knew he was being well looked after (even though we said 533 times 'I miss Frank' 'I wish Frank was here') So we decided to go round to Henry's sister's for a takeaway and watched 'The Greatest Store In The World' which the boys hated, and Impractical Jokers, before we headed home in the snow, and caught up with I'm a celeb and headed to bed.
Saturday :
We traipsed round town, bought about two presents (so we did really well there -not!) (hey do you remember when you were younger and it was cool to say not at the end of every sentence?) Anyways, we had a wander round, how much prettier is everything in the snow?
Then we stopped off at The Pourhouse and had mega hot chocolates. Not quite the same as the Christmas Market hot chocolates I had planned, but still pretty good!
We headed back home, and went and fetched Frank from the kennels. We took Frank out in to the garden and played in the snow. Frank has never experienced proper snow before, so we were really excited to see what he'd be like. The snow in the garden was pretty high, and it's safe to say Frank loved it. He was rolling around, chasing snow balls and then lying down in it. We took loads of photos, then headed back inside.
Something I love about the snow is the cosiness it seems to create. You almost have to stay in and do nothing, so you don't feel guilty about snuggling down on the sofa.
We had snacks (caramel nibbles and Gregg's doughnuts) and watched A Christmas Prince on Netflix which is one of the best and worst Christmas films I've ever watched. A must see.
Sunday:
Just when I thought we couldn't get anymore snow, it snowed for about 14 hours straight on Sunday. We got covered on our walk with Frank, but I just can't get over how nice everything looked. We have some woodland by us, and I couldn't believe how pretty everything was. I want it to stay forever, but just without the icy roads.
I probably sound a bit like Snow White, and I can tell that I'm getting old as I suddenly appreciate things like this. Anyone else feel this way?
Sunday afternoon was spent watching films, tidying up, and putting together blog posts. It was a really lovely cosy day again, and even though we didn't do much, or it may not have seemed very exciting, it's been a really nice weekend.
It's felt really cosy, and it's genuinely made me so happy seeing Frank in the snow. I kind of want the snow to stay forever, but also kind of don't! I really want to go and take as many outfit pictures as possible haha you can tell I'm a blogger can't you?
Anyways, so that was my weekend, like I said, it may not have been exciting, or as fun as what we planned, but it was still a really nice weekend and you know what, I'm glad we stayed home. I'm glad we didn't spend hours on a motorway and I'm glad we got to see Frank in his first snow. I think that life is about the little things, and this weekend has made me appreciate that.
So yes don't worry Snow White is going now! I'll be back tomorrow with a post with slightly more structure haha!
I'd love to know if you had a snowy weekend like we did?
See you tomorrow! x
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